Monday, April 26, 2010

Shyness.

The past week was a very busy week for me.... Because of a celebration in our work place. It was to be aired lived so we had to work more for our department. The other room that our department was in-charge of is being constructed Along with the celebration.. People that the place hired were placing carpet for the room which required the application of "Rugby". It smelled all around our department that we were hit by its bad effects everyday. One day after going through some work I drank empty my water bottle. I was hit by the "High" of "Rugby" that I did not notice I was not being kind that day. So I entered the engineering department. It is were we get our water. I never thought I was disrespectful and I entered alone not saying a word. Then I left and by chance I got to slam their door very hard!! Up until today I was not aware of what I have done. Until it reached our "BOSS" I never thought that I was that bad. I always enter that room saying in a small voice and asking water. I never thought that being shy Could be so rude. I know what I did was wrong. I was never warned by them but it should have been common sense! Reflecting now makes me aware that it is really my fault. But the question is why did they let it take a long time before they told me what I have done. And while we were working as well. They did not have to be such an ass! We in our department are really working hard. We could at least get some respect from them who are seating all day doing some stuff or even playing MMOs!! For Crying out loud we get to do hard labor which are not related to IT and they who have ENGINEERS in their name got to look down on us! I am starting to hate the last word in my course! Its not because you passed some board exam that you can look down on others who got some lower course than you Have... I'll never want to be an engineer then if that would be a part of my job! We should be fair to those who are lower than us! We all belong to the earth If we get to high on ourselves we will fall hard on the ground someday. I hope those people I am hitting right now will be able to wake up well in the morning!!!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Story blog

Since the last 2 weeks have been pretty busy for me... I had been Imagining things everytime I get to have a vacant time. I was always looking outside the window when I travel to my OJT place.. (I am currently having an ojt in a broadcasting company) I ride 2 trains totaling of 9 stations everyday. The first day I went alone to "WORK" was a very weird day I'm not too excited but I am not too lazy to go to "WORK". When I arrived at the first train station It was like a normal day for workers less students and more Workers and civilians.Blah blah BLAH BLAH.... Then I arrived at the work place I brought my first time card with me. I was so nervous on how to use it that I punched the wrong slot of the card with the Clock. Then I went to the office. They did not gave me work that day During Lunch I was assigned to the TV area.I saw a Cute "Ate" and surprisingly she was having an OJT as well. The next day came and 2 more OJT-ers arrived now we were given work and we had to scatter cables to be used in the election survey quick count simulation and for some telephones that don't have lines on them. Then days past and I got used to traveling and started Imagining things. Friday came and I was left alone in our house. I had to go to "WORK" on a saturday so I set my alarm and slept early that day. Saturday came I woke up alone and Started Imagining that I had a GurlFriend with me.. When I woke up I was in a semi DREAM state. I was preparing hot water and suddenly I saw a girl at my bed waking up and started preparing my breakfast she prepared my coffee and prepared my meal for the day she even prepared my lunch. Then my kettle whistled and I am alone again... AFter my morning rituals I was off to "WORK" I came at the first train and it was not very crowded. when I arrived at the 2nd train. The station was swarming with COUPLES and It somehow pissed me off for no reason. Then I entered a not so crowded train at the last door And AGAIN entered a SEMI DREAM state. I was holding her hand while I was entering the train. I placed her in front of me so that no one will harm her whatsoever. When the train started to run I was all alone again hugging my bag. Then the same scenes repeat everyday up until now... Even when I am at "WORK" and eating I see her in front of me Eating along with me and she disappears everytime I swallow my food. Thats OJT for me...

Monday, April 5, 2010

1.0 = 5.0 + 5.0

Today is a day when students get their grades and keep their hopes Up high like the sky. As for me I always keep my hope in a low level to be able to cope with a bad grade... But today is not a day that I was so carefree Just like a year ago... I was really Expecting to receive 1 failing grade. But when I arrived at school all my expectations Crumbled like bread crumbs on a crispy fried chicken after getting bit by someone. One of my classmates failed our common subject but theres more not only that he failed but I failed as well all of my other classmates that we are always with passed and we are the only 2 who failed in this subject. We all had the same performances in that subject but when the issuance of grade came We discovered that we failed miserably. I still cant get over it and I dont think i will within this week. Its been a long week for me and I never expected that failure because we all did the same things in that subject but we failed its like a conspiracy but we checked it!! The main rant is that All of my grades this sem were all the same they never went down from 3 except for one I had some high grades but If I never failed that subject this sem would have been the best sem I had. Its really unexpected! I never thought I will Fail it! AGAIN!!! IVe been Hating mySelf Since I went Home but hating mySelf will not Do Anything good for me All I can do is evaluate what Ive done wrong and try again tomorrow and recheck my subject. I really need to know Why... I had the highest grade in one of my subjects but the price I paid for it is another failed subject.. This is sucks!! I dont know what to do... I told my parents and I will explain it even though I cant Explain why I failed. I have an OJT comming up and I think if that subject will be offered this summer I will take it along with ojt. I must Pass it this time. OR I WILL REPEAT A YEAR... Even though its a very minor subject it once again pulled me down for the 2nd time.. maybe it was my luck but I wont regret it. This bad experiences will give birth to good ones I will not expect it because expecting on something hurts when it doesnt come. I will push through!! ORE WA SAIGO NO CLIMAXU!!!!! This is my LAst CLIMAX!!! I will Do my best srsly!!! NO more EFFIN resting. Its been too much!!! This maybe my last rant I will start to seclude myself starting this summer.
Cant find the Original But this whats playing on my head right now...

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